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Threesome tips for beginners

You should create a relaxed atmosphere for the first time. You should also have a conversation beforehand. Clarify what you would like to do and what is a no-go for you. Work out the positions you want to try out together. Have a small glass of wine together. You should definitely not get drunk as this will impair your perception and libido. You could start casually by undressing in front of each other, showering together and caressing each other so that you slowly get in the mood. Make sure neither of you gets left out. Be sure to use condoms and exchange them as soon as the wearer is going to penetrate another person. With two women and one man, one person can be penetrated and this person can be additionally caressed or kissed. The penetrated person can also become active by caressing the third person. With two men and one woman, the woman can be pleasured vaginally and anally at the same time or she can give a blow job while being penetrated. There are an incredible number of possibilities. It is also important to be considerate when it comes to each other's feelings. If you are in a relationship, your partner's feelings should always come first and you should stop all contact with the third person if things start going too far, e.g. if strong feelings for the third person start to develop. It is also important that you don't have a threesome just to please your partner. You must also want to have a threesome because this will make sure that it is a pleasant experience for everyone involved.

How to find a partner for a threesome?

"Of course, there are some places on the internet where you can look for people for a threesome. Joyclub in particular is reputable but if you search on Google, you will certainly find one or two other platforms where you can find people anonymously who live in your area. Clubs are also a good place to find people in real life. If you are a couple, you can look for clubs in your area that specialise in couples. If singles are also allowed in, there is usually a surplus of men. You will quickly see this in the admission prices, which are then divided into several categories. Some clubs also have different evenings where sometimes only couples are allowed in and where sometimes singles are allowed in too. The general rule in a club is: anything goes but nothing has to be done. Just talk to people there who seem nice. Something only happens in these places if all parties agree, so you don't have to be afraid of being harassed as soon as you enter a club. Once you have found one or more people you like, you have the option of going to a more private room where you can have fun together. The easiest option as a couple is, of course, to go to a sauna club where you have the option of paying a staff member for certain services.

How can I tell my partner about my BDSM fantasies?

Introduce the topic slowly. For example, say that you have read something about it and ask your partner what they think about it in general. Maybe you’ll be lucky and your partner will share your views and open up to you. You should, of course, choose a private moment to do this. If you are a bit nervous, bring it up outside of the bedroom so that you don't give your partner the impression that you want to start right away and you won’t be putting any pressure them either. If they don’t take the bait, try mentioning that you are interested in BDSM and would like to try it out. Experiment with blindfolds, padded handcuffs with hook and loop fasteners or a feather tickler. These are great toys to start with and they will give your partner the opportunity to explore BDSM slowly.

What should you start with when trying out BDSM? (e.g. toys)

There is no one answer. Talk to your partner and work out what exactly interests you and what you would like to do. One easy way to start is to use a blindfold to increase the trust between you. You can then go on to try restraints with hook and loop fasteners. Gentle punishment with a paddle can also be a good way to start if you agree on the severity of the strokes beforehand. However, don't use the paddle on joints, the face or thinner layers of skin. Vibrating nipple clamps are also interesting because almost all models allow you to determine the intensity of the pressure yourself. In the e-stim area, there are also various beginner toys that you can start with. Make sure you don’t use electrodes or toys around the heart. All of these toys are suitable for beginners if you adjust the strength or pressure accordingly.

What should you bear in mind the first time you are tying someone up?

Try a bondage set with hook and loop fasteners to begin with. These sets are designed to help you focus on areas that can be tied up. You can also work out exactly what you like. You might then want to switch to bondage tape which only sticks to itself. Make sure that the restraint(s) are not too tight, otherwise they will not only start to get uncomfortable after a while, but they can also become a health hazard as well. The same applies to rope restraints too. There are also a lot of beginner restraints that you can try out as well. Have a look at our blog to get useful tips on how to get started. It is also important to use knots that are easy to untie. This way you don't have to cut the ropes if you want to stop quickly and you avoid possible panic too. Nevertheless, you should always have a pair of scissors at hand just in case so that you can remove the ropes quickly. Both of you should make sure that the ropes are never too tight so that they don’t cause blood stasis.

My partner likes to be dominated. What can I do apart from tying them up?

Ask if they have any particular fantasies that they would like to try out. Maybe they already have specific ideas that they want to try. Beforehand however, you should both discuss whether you would like the suggestions. During sex, for example, you can give them commands that they should carry out. You can lick them or give them a blow job or a prostate massage and they are only allowed to come when you give them permission. If they like to be verbally dominated, you can also send instructions to their phone during the day about what they should do before you see each again. Chastity can also be particularly interesting. He can wear a penis cage or she can wear a chastity belt – the other person has the key and only they are allowed to take the cage or belt off. If their interests go further, for example, into the realm of golden showers, you could let them enjoy one in the bath or the shower. Facesitting is also a great way of being in control – you can also give them instructions as well. They simply lie down on their back and you sit on their face. They might pleasure you with their tongue. You don't just have to dominate them verbally, you can also use your hands as well. Grab their hair right at the roots and move their head to where you want it to go.

Tips for dirty talk

Dirty talk is great for turning each other on during the day or during foreplay. You don't have to use one-sided phrases or be vulgar either. Indirect innuendo can also be stimulating. For example, you can tell your partner how much you are looking forward to seeing them. Here is an example of what you could say: I would like to caress your body now. I would like to feel you inside me. You can do whatever you want with me tonight. I want to kiss you all over. Meanwhile, you can say things like: You feel so good. You turn me on so much. I want to taste you. I want you to take me. Please don't ever stop. The next day you can tell each other what you liked the most and start a marathon right away.

Can you say something about phone sex?

Phone sex is a lot of fun and you can experiment a lot. Start slowly and tell each other what you are wearing. Caress yourselves and tell each other what you are touching. Moaning is a must during phone sex. Then it can go further and you can penetrate more intimate areas with a toy or your fingers. There are also lots of toys that can be controlled from a distance. This way you can actively participate in and influence the pleasure of the person you are talking to.

I would like to try dirty talk but I am nervous about doing it.

Then start slowly. Ask your partner beforehand if they are also like the idea of dirty talk during sex. If so, say a few words now and then like "Right there" or "Yes, more". Once you have overcome your inhibitions, you can try short phrases like "This turns me on" or "Go deeper". Once you feel comfortable, the creativity and courage will come naturally.

Any tips for erotic sexting?

Be creative. Start by telling your partner that you are in the mood for something erotic. Describe everything you would like to do to your partner later. For example, where you would most like to pleasure them with your finger or tongue. If you can't see each other, spice it up a bit and describe how you touch yourself and where you want to be touched. A little voice message in between times or a hot photo of you can make the sexting even more intense.

How do I start pegging?

Pegging is pleasurable for both parties. It involves penetrating the man's anus with a strap-on dildo or vibrator that a woman is wearing. Start slowly and carefully – this will make it extremely pleasurable. To make it more hygienic, the partner being pegged should use an anal douche beforehand. Start by slowly stretching the anus with fingers or thin toys. Make sure that you always use a water-based lubricant that is compatible with toys. There are also special water-based anal lubricants that help the anus relax and make the stretching comfortable. You can also use thinner and thicker toys when pegging. The toys can be with or without vibration. When buying a pegging toy, make sure you find a harness that allows you to change the toys. Don't thrust too hard – instead increase the pressure and frequency slowly.

How do I convince my girlfriend/wife that we should try pegging?

Just talk to her and say why you think you'd like it. Prostate stimulation is particularly pleasurable for you and your girlfriend/wife will also enjoy it if, for example, you use a strap-on dildo that gets inserted into her vagina. That way you both get something out of the experience. If she has hygiene concerns, use an anal douche just before intercourse. Not only is prostate stimulation particularly pleasurable, but it can also help to keep the prostate healthy and prevent problems when you get older.

My partner isn’t interested in toys. What can I do?

Arouse their curiosity and try to show them the advantages of toys. Do they have any sexual desires that they would like to fulfil? If they want to have sex more often, toys are a good way to get you in the mood. Do they want to try anal sex? Then make it clear to them that it is better to stretch the anus beforehand using a thin toy and some lubricant. Would they like to get a blow job or be licked more often? Then use a panty vibrator or a remote-controlled masturbator/anal vibrator that they can control with a remote control during oral sex. This way, oral sex will be more interesting for both of you. They will also enjoy seeing you having fun during oral sex.

How do I get my partner to try something new?

Have they said that they’re not interested in trying anything new? Then take control and try a toy that you can insert yourself and that is controlled by a remote control. You can then give the remote to your partner – they will quickly notice that this also has a positive effect on foreplay.

How can I get my partner to use sex toys with me?

Have you already talked to them directly? Then take a look at our shop together and browse through the couples' toy category. You're sure to find something you both like. If your partner is still a bit nervous, start slowly and get something like a panty vibrator or a plug with a remote control. You can then give them the remote control and let them experience the advantages of toys from a comfortable distance. You could also start with a cock ring, work your way up to a vibrating cock ring and then move on to bigger couples' toys.

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